I dare you to listen to your conversations, both internal and external.
And put them in one of two categories.
Category One: Conversations around living out my commitments.
Category Two: Conversations regarding stories about why I’m not living out my commitments.
Which category are most of your conversations taking place in?
If you are stuck, I can guarantee that a majority of your conversations are in category two.
And therefore, you are betraying yourself.
Betrayal leads to a break down in relationship.
Perhaps this might be why you feel disconnected from yourself in areas of your life.
Are you willing to get committed to your commitments rather than your excuses and stories?
“Nothing takes more energy to maintain than a fear.” Steve Chandler
In coaching and even in my own life, the idea of fear comes up quite a bit. And so we get to address it.
If we give into our fears, that means we are giving energy to it, energy that could be used to further our passions.
And, since fear is not something we are excited about, it drains our energy rather than fueling it.
Love creates energy. Fear drains it.
May your love always run at least one step faster than your fear.
“Perfect love drives out all fear.” 1 John 4:18
Great people and great leaders view the world through the lens of everything being an investment in the future.
Frustrated people and bored people and mediocre people see everything as a cost. How much will it cost me?
Consider this poem from Shel Silverstein:
By Shel Silverstein
I walked through the wildwood, and what did I see
But a unicorn with his horn stuck in a tree,
Cryin', " Someone please help me before it's too late."
I hollered, "I'll free you." He hollered back, " Wait-
How much will it hurt? How long will it take?
Are you sure that my horn will not scratch, bend or break?
How hard will you pull? How much must I pay?
Must you do it right now or is Wednesday ok?
Have you done this before? Do you have the right tools?
How you graduated from horn-savin' school?
Will I owe you a favor? And what will it be?
Do you promise that you will not damage the tree?
Should I close my eyes? Should I sit down or stand?
Do you have insurance? Have you washed you hands?
And after you free me-tell me what then?
Can you guarantee I won't get stuck again?
Tell me when. Tell me how.
Tell me why. Tell me where."
I guess that he's still sittin' there.
Pulled this from the book “Straight-Line Leadership” by Dusan Djukitch.
For a fulfilling life:
1. Define what you choose to produce.
2. Define the necessary required actions.
3. Do the necessary required actions.
Doing “what matters” will save you enormous amounts of time and energy.
At least 50 times a day ask yourself if you are doing the necessary required action for what you are up to in life.
I recently picked up this book called “Breakthrough! 90 Proven Strategies to Overcome Creative Block and Spark Your Imagination.”
Below is one of my favorite excerpts from the book that is written by Claire Dederer (www.clairededere.com):
This is given as a strategy to overcome writer’s block (IT’S WORTH THE READ):
“Check into an expensive hotel. This only works if you are a little on the cheap side. Check into an expensive hotel for three nights. It’s good if it’s near the airport or some other deeply boring location. Bring whatever you need to get hopped up: candy, bourbon, coffee, nicotine patches. Also, pants with an elastic waste. And a stack of books that you love but that you have read at least twice already. Once you’ve checked in, give the remote to the front desk and instruct them not to give it back to you, no matter how much you beg. Now. Write ten thousand words. If you feel blocked, just think about all the money you’re wasting, sitting there, staring into space like an idiot.”
So often when we are in a relational conflict, we spend more time explaining our camera angle/perspective than we do being curious about the other persons.
I find this so interesting.
Because when I do this, when I get caught in my perspective to the neglect of others, I remain stuck.
And proving MY point is more important than connecting with the other person.
What if, instead, we walked into a difficult conversation fully committed to being curious about what the other person is seeing?
If both parties did this, at least we’d have clarity because we will have at least double our scope of view
Of course, this all assumes we actually care about others enough to go there.
“The measure of a person’s results in life can usually be reduced to the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” Tom McGovern