“The reason we race isn’t so much to beat each other, it is to be with each other.”
I read this quote in the book “Born to Run.”
In a book filled with intrique, it was one of the most thought provoking moments for me.
The book tells many stories of how competitive running can be, and yet at the end of the day many of the runners spoken of in the book run more to be with each other than to beat each other (although they love to win, of course).
And then I thought about life. I wondered about how often I get consumed with beating someone else rather than being with them.
I decided there needed to be at least a couple of conversations this week where I confess to someone that I have let something trump my desire to truly be with someone – to connecting fully with them.
Who could you talk to this week and make a commitment to have “being with them” trump all else?
I have been thinking a lot about belief systems lately.
I look at a belief system as a an already established cache of truisms. It is the set of precepts from which you live your daily life. It governs your thoughts, words, and actions. Your belief system is how you think the world should be or the world should not be.
I believe that belief systems exist to provide us with a place where we can find safety and comfort. I am not saying that they keep us safe. This is a very important distinction. For example, we may have a belief system that states that a major part of success is taking risks. Risks are not inherently “safe.” However, we can find safety and comfort in our belief system because we know that taking healthy risks will lead us to success.
So, basically, we all see the world in a particular way. That particular way is simply a part of who we are. Some of it we were likely born with and some of it was likely formed as we grew up and is still being formed.
Now, what do we do when aspects of our belief system are holding us back from the life we want. For example, if someone believes that people are going to abandon them, they may then not get close to people for fear of being abandoned. However, this person may want to be close to others, yet is afraid of being abandoned. In order to get close to people, this person will then have to shift his/her belief system in order to be able to connect to others.
In this way, we must recognize where our belief systems are resourceful and when they are limiting. When they are limiting, we can then investigate them and then shift them to line up with our life vision so that they can encourage the life we say we want.
I spoke publicly recently.
And it went pretty well.
However, when I got the conclusion of what I was saying, I realized that I didn’t have as strong of a conclusion as I had thought. As I was was going into my conclusion, I had an idea to tell a story from my life that happened recently. However, I wasn’t sure if the story would tie in.
Yet I had this instinct that I should tell the story and figure out the tie in as I told the story.
However, I did not listen to that instinct. Purely out of fear. Fear that I would get done with the story and not have a way to tie it in.
After I was finished, I was talking with some friends and I told them the story. And they said it fit perfectly and would have been a perfect concluding story.
Next time I am going to follow my instinct.
Just to spite my fears.