I was talking with a client the other day. He is in a place where he feels “stuck” – unsure of what steps to take next in life.
And beyond that, he is seeings some potential risks to take but is fearful to step into them.
Have you ever been there?
You know what things you “don’t” want to be doing but aren’t sure what you “do” want to be doing?
And so risk seems a bit arbitrary.
And it occurs to you that in the midst of it all, putting in the energy to get a clear vision will take some serious mental labor.
Yet, you see that without a clarity of vision, there is no context for taking risks.
And so if you don’t put in the mental labor to get clear on your vision, you necessarily won’t know what step to take next. You will feel “stuck.”
How willing are you?
How do we stay focused on making a difference and living out our passions and calling?
Even when our tendency may be to shy away, pretend we are invincible, let ourselves off the hook, lack curiosity, desire comfort over hard work, blame others instead of accepting responsibility, etc.
How do we fight living in a fantasy world in which the choices we are making today don’t actually add up to the difference we long to see in the world?
We actually decide to actively give a dang about others.
Remember that to “decide” literally means “cut away from the familiar.”
Stop being familiar and surprise us.
We all arrange our days.
Even those of us who tend to be less structured.
Being less structured is a way of arranging our days.
And we arrange our days around the things that we value the most.
We spend our time on the things we are committed to. And we arrange our lives in such a way to accomplish the things we are committed to.
For example, if you have tickets to your favorite concert 3 days from now, I can guarantee that you have arranged the next 72 hours of your life in such a way that you make it to that concert.
So what point am I trying to make?
There are times when we commit to things and then we don’t follow through.
For example, I say I will get you a proposal by 5pm next Monday and I don’t deliver on my promise. And typically if asked about why I didn’t get the proposal done on time, I would begin to come up with excuses as to why I didn’t get it done.
Rather than accept responsibility for missing it and recommitting to get it done by a renegotiated due date.
Because the reality is that “other” things didn’t “get in the way” of me getting the proposal done on time.
I just didn’t arrange my life in such a way as to deliver on my word.
Owning up to that is called taking responsibility. Making excuses is called unreliable.
Because if it was external factors that caused me to not get the proposal done on time, then how can you depend on me. Those same “other things” that “got in the way” might get in the way again. And again. And again.
And I would then become a person who is not dependable.
Unless I make the choice to consistently arrange my life in such a way as to deliver on my commitments.
I keep wondering why so many of us keep on making excuses, unaware of the countless prices that are being paid when we are looked at as unreliable.
Realize that being judgmental divides us.
Being judgmental is a way we hide from what lies deep inside of us.
When we get connected to ourselves, our heart, and our soul – and get clear regarding what we are up to in life (which takes some work) – we no longer have a need to judge others.
Being judgmental reveals that we are disconnected from ourselves and we know this. And so we judge ourselves and others. And we are consciously and subconsciously frustrated by all of this. And then we judge some more.
Being judgmental disconnects us from self and others.
To be less judgmental – get connected to yourself. Really connected.
If you don’t think you know how – find yourself a great coach. I know a few.