“Can I ask you a coaching type question?” My friend asked me as we driving across the Golden Gate Bridge.
I responded “Of course!” as I love deep conversation.
He said that he was struggling being a negative person. “I see the world more pessimistically and I feel like I am bringing my friends down.”
In that, I noticed something that he was unaware of that was holding him back.
I noticed that his comment about him being negative had a couple of implications.
1. His statement was definitive “I see the world pessimistically.” (what is concealed is that he is not responsible for his choice to be pessimistic).
2. Pessimistic or Negative are un-investigated conversations. They are intentionally concealed in being vague and used as a way to justify one’s fears and worries, etc.
So I shared my thoughts with him towards the angle that he has a choice in the matter. He is not confined to being negative. It’s a choice.
Once we “unconceal” our conversation by investigating it with curiosity, we can expose our thoughts and then alter them if we so choose.